With so much at stake we need to make sure we take everything into consideration pre-fight. So once again we will start with some background information. The Vapor Brothers first burst onto the scene in 1999. This self proclaimed "eclectic group of talented friends" would exceed that title quicker than Mario could eat a Kinoko or in the English language, Special Mushroom. The Vapor Brothers initially attempted to create a vaporizer with stable temperature control and pure glass on glass interaction, this would prove to be their call to fame. The classic box design and intuitive engineering has led the way for vaporizer producers world wide and helps offer everyone a cleaner, purer vaporizing experience.
The Mario Brothers also started out with good intentions and hopes for a better world. While working down in the dark unpredictable sewers they were overrun by enemies. Evil turtles also know as Shellcreepers, sinister Spinies, and the always aggressive Fighter Flies had take over their beloved pipes. Much like the Vapor Brothers they never backed down from the immense challenge, they fought them all even if it meant eating poisonous mushrooms for temporary gains in strength. Extracting coins from crushed turtle shells soon became second nature and the Mario Brothers never looked back. They would later use that fortune to defeat Bowser and save the Princess Peach who's kingdom was under constant attack from the Koopa Troop.
Now for some statistics:
Weapons Advantage: Mario Brothers. With the ability to instantly double in size, drive go-karts equipped with banana peels across rainbows and hurdle explosive turtle shells at their enemies while doing so Mario Brothers surely has the advantage here. Vapor Brothers does provide an array of vaporizer accessories but lets face it, Star Power FTW.
Strength Advantage: Vapor Brothers. Being built with solid wood and hand blown ground glass they have been built to last. Vapor Brothers are capable of enduring extreme punishment and my bet is they won't be slipping on any banana peels during this fight. When you combine their sturdy construction with their ability to deliver such powerful vapor this is a no contest.
Experience Advantage: Mario Brothers. This is not a knock against Vapor Brothers, they do have over 14 years of experience with vaporizers. But that just wont be enough in this battle to the death. Mario Brothers have been punishing turtles, collecting coins and fighting the Koopa Troop for over three decades. Yoshi is actually nine years VB's elder first appearing first in 1990.
Last but not least;
Price Advantage: Vapor Brothers. At first this might look like a surprise, but when you take into consideration all of the different costs it becomes quite clear. Mario Brothers wont even make an appearance until you purchase a Nintendo and that's the easy part. After that you still need to pay to play, the Super Mario franchise has spawned over 200 different games and at an average cost of $50 a pop that would cost you at least $10,000 smackaroos. The Vapor Brothers on the other hand will last longer and deliver vapor the entire time for the low low price of $183.99.
Final Outcome: Draw. This one was just too close to call. The Vapor Brothers has a solid ground game and displayed amazing stamina. Stable and reliable with that rugged fighters face they just couldn't be put away. The Mario Brothers took a more aggressive approach. Ingesting leafs, mushrooms, flowers and even stars they hit Vapor Brothers hard and often. But after eventually shrinking down to their natural size the Mario Brothers were forced to escape down a green pipe with all the coins. This "Vape Wars" is certainly headed for a rematch.
To be continued...
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