President Donald Trump opened with the lowest approval rating in the history of modern presidents, according to a recent Gallup poll. At 45%, Trump’s approval rating was at least 10% lower than that of George W. Bush (57%), Obama (67%), Bill Clinton (53%), and more.
Trump tweeted that the poll was fake news, which got us thinking. What if it’s not Trump that’s the problem? What if these polls are just asking the wrong questions?
They say you can judge a man’s heart by other people’s willingness to get high with them. So, to find out what some Americans really think of Trump, we ran a straw poll (we’ll call it a grass poll) asking them which president they’d rather hit the vape with: Barack Obama, George W. Bush, or the Donald.
The results were lit.
We asked 60 upstanding citizens which U.S. president they’d be down to spark up with.
It was a landslide win for one of these presidents.
That president was not Donald Trump.
In fact, we’re pretty sure the people who said they would smoke with Donald Trump were too high to realize what they were saying.
Sad. Very, very sad.
George W. Bush - 13%
In one of the biggest plot twists in history, the American public have warmed somewhat to George Walker Bush since he stepped down as POTUS. A coffee table book of Bush’s paintings, for instance, which includes portraits of American soldiers as well as Russian president Vladimir Putin, was warmly received.
Still, Americans don’t think George Bush seems chill enough to smoke with. In fact, he scored the lowest out of all the presidents in the poll except George Washington, who wasn’t even in the poll. One respondent simply refused to smoke with anyone except Washington.
Out of 60 Americans polled, only 8 chose Bush as their smoke buddy. At least one respondent chose Bush “‘cause he would say some crazy shit.” And they’re on to something. In fact, Slate put out a 96-page New York Time’s best-selling book of nothing but crazy shit George Bush has said, which they continue to build on as he overtime says even more crazy shit.
Which vaporizer do we suggest? If you ever actually do get baked with Bush, we recommend the Magic Flight Launch Box, a little wooden portable vape handcrafted by local artisans that will appeal to the former president’s artistic side.
Donald Trump - 15%
In a tight race for most uptight POTUS, Donald Trump barely squeaked by George Bush. And the reason why certain respondents chose Trump weren’t too flattering.
“He needs to loosen up,” one respondent told us.
As it happens, the Donald is the first president in 24 years to be drug-free. He claims he doesn’t drink, smoke, or use drugs, and never has.
Which vaporizer do we suggest? One day you may actually get high with Donald Trump. Crazier things--like Donald Trump becoming president--have happened. If Trump actually would partake, we would recommend the Volcano Classic Vaporizer. This desktop vaporizer has a bold, volcanic style and excellent vapor production that won’t be too harsh on Trump’s unseasoned lungs.
Barack Obama - 66%
The people have spoken. If they had to get high with Bush, Trump, or Obama, Americans want head change they can believe in.
Obama’s past herb use is no secret. Back in his college days, Barry had a penchant for snatching joints, out of line, as they were passed around the room while quipping what could be the gangsterist line in presidential history, “Intercepted.” It’s only natural that citizens of the United States have put their trust in a seasoned smoker like Obama.
Reasons why the majority of respondents chose Obama include:
“He was like, the coolest president.”
“‘Cause he used to.”
“He seems like a homie.”
And lastly, “Because everybody hates Donald Trump.”
Which vaporizer do we suggest? It’s only fitting that the president who most people think is the coolest vape with the coolest vaporizer, the Firefly 2. This portable dry herb vape is often called ‘the iPhone of vaporizers,’ and for good reason. It features touch commands, mobile app control, and really high quality materials, the perfect device for Barack “Come Back To Us” Obama.
Third Party Votes
A few radical respondents went off the script altogether and placed third party votes for candidates that weren’t originally in our poll.
George Washington - 2%
A single respondent was either hard of hearing or high, because his answer to “Who would you rather get lit with: Barack Obama, George Bush, or Donald Trump,” was without hesitation “George Washington.”
“I feel like my boy would be like, hella lit,” he continued.
As it happens, Washington grew hemp. But the kind out of which you make rope, not ridiculous statements.
Snoop Dogg - 4%
Hot on the trail of Bush and Trump was Snoop Dogg, because that’s just who you call on in matters such as this.
When we asked one of Snoop’s supporters why they rebelled against our poll they said they chose the D.O. Double G, “Cause, he’s like... the best one.”
Interestingly, the results of our poll were nearly parallel with the percentages reflected in the opening approval rates of Bush, Obama, and Trump. Proof, perhaps, that Americans not only vote with their emotions, but smoke with their emotions, too.
If all this talk of getting lit is stoking your own emotions, be sure to visit our vaporizers page to find a vape worth sharing with even the most powerful person in the world.